In a world where everyone gets his or her own special talent, courtesy of an invisible fairy, fourteen-year-old Charlie is pretty bummed to have scored a parking fairy. I mean, she doesn’t even drive. As a freshman at an elite sports school, she really could have used a no foul, shooting or throwing fairy instead. Determined to discourage her parking fairy, Charlie starts walking everywhere. And I do mean, everywhere. Which is making her late. Which is causing her to collect demerits at her punctually obsessed school. Charlie is so busy slaving away at community service jobs to work off her late demerits that she has very little time to flirt with new cutie Stefan. But its not like he would notice her anyway, because Stefan seems to be under the sway of Charlie’s most hated classmate Fiorenza, she of the “all-the-boys-like you” fairy. What do you do when the fairy you have isn’t the fairy you want? Why, ditch it of course! Even if Charlie is able to shake the parking fairy, there’s no guarantee that her new fairy will be any better. But that’s the risk she’s willing to take for a chance at Stefan’s love and an end to being thrown into the nearest back seat anytime someone needs a good parking spot! I’ll admit, it took me some time to get used to Larbalestier’s odd slang (“doos?” “pulchy?” “spoffs?” ) but since she was kind enough to tuck a glossary in the back, I soon got into the swing of things. Funny and whimsical, this isn’t just a fantasy, but a romance, sports, and even bit of a mystery novel. Larbalestier threads sly pokes at celebrity obsession and adolescent self-centeredness throughout Charlie’s snarky narrative, which will delight close readers and us “older” teens who fancy ourselves above all that☺ Personally, I could use a “no one ever sits too close to me on the subway” fairy, or a “write brilliant book reviews in no time at all” fairy. But one thing’s for sure–Labalestier certainly has a “good book writing” fairy! Or maybe not—read her blog post about the roles of muses in the writing process.
Itty-bitty blondie Sylvia Mark doesn’t look like much. But piss her off, and she’s liable to go all Hulk on you. Except, not green—just really, really strong. Meangrrl Colleen finds that out when she tries to warn Sylvia off her fine boyfriend, and ends up in a Colleen-shaped locker dent with a broken arm for her trouble. While Sylvia at first chalks up her overnight might to puberty-gone-wild, her disturbing dreams of bio-vats and rivers of blood hint at a dangerously different reason. Meanwhile, in a secret government lab, Dr. Tabitha Carver looks over her collection of super-girls in jars, awaiting the return of the missing four so she can activate her army of baby goddesses. Four girls were kidnapped from the lab at the start of Carver’s precious cloning project. Now one of those girls is beginning to manifest her powers. And due to an instinctive impulse that is leading her closer and closer to her test-tube origins, Sylvia is rounding up the other three for a final violent confrontation with Carver that could end up rocking the entire world. My teenage friends, you have no idea how much serious ass-kicking is contained in this lil’ GN. Suffice it to say that it is on the order of my fav comic girl Fray and her bad-ass cousin Tank Girl, and just as cosmically awesome. And if square-jawed, pouty-lipped Sylvia looks familiar, it may be because Simon & Schuster just recently picked up this independent production that originally debuted on Dark Horse’s website, then was published in a seven issue series by Arcana Studios back in ’04. Now S&S have collected all seven issues of Sylvie in this suh-weet paperback for your uninterrupted viewing pleasure. So get off the couch already, head to your closest library or bookstore and get your own Girl! (Batteries and kung fu superpowers not included.)
It’s 1969, the war (excuse me, “military action”) is raging in Vietnam, Charles Manson is on trial for mass murder, and fourteen-year-old Bliss In-the-Morning-Dew is fresh off the commune. Her hippie parents have fled to Canada to escape the draft and left Bliss high and dry with her prissy southern grandmother in Atlanta. But this is not a tragedy. Bliss discovers that she actually likes real soap, clean sheets and remote-controlled television. She’s even looking forward to making friends at the chi-chi private school her grandmother has enrolled her in. That is, until she steps on campus and hears the otherworldly voice that keeps whispering in her head, speaking of blood, death, and sacrifice. Until she explores the abandoned third floor of the school’s oldest building, once a convent, and discovers the room of the young novice named Liliana who plunged to her death to escape the soul-cleansing whip of a sanctimonious Mother Superior. Until she finds out that one of her new chums actually plans on becoming a vessel for the vengeful Liliana and needs Bliss’s blood to seal the deal! OMG, Lauren Myracle, who knew you were hiding a bloody butcher knife behind that Mayberry smile? Myracle, lately she of the sweet, pastel-covered stories of girlhood has returned to her darker, a la Rhymes with Witches roots with this delicious package of scary goodness all wrapped up in a blood-soaked bow. Lately I have been pissing and moaning about the fact that there is not enough true YA horror to fill the desperate need of teens everywhere for some good old-fashioned thrills and chills. Well, I’m here to tell you that YA horror is BACK because Lauren Myracle has BROUGHT IT with this spine-tingling nightmare that is 1/3 Carrie, 1/3 classic Lois Duncan, and the rest gorgeously gory urban legend. The YA horror gauntlet has been THROWN my adolescent, Stephen-King-reading friends, and I can’t wait to see how many YA writer-peeps start penning their own terrifying tales in order to reach the bar raised by this bloody Myracle!
The main character of Nancy Werlin’s latest novel, seventeen-year-old Lucy Scarborough, happens to be a pregnant teenager, but this shockingly original hybrid of fantasy and psychological thriller is like no pregnant-teen-story you’ve ever read. Besides dealing with the same problems as any young mother-to-be, Lucy also has to contend with the conditions of an age-old curse that landed her in this situation in the first place. See, in Lucy’s family, all the women get pregnant as teens, give birth to daughters, and then promptly go insane. The daughter grows up and the cycle starts all over again. This is all due to the fact that one of Lucy’s ancestors refused to return the romantic affections of the evil Elfin King, and he in turn cursed her and all her future generations with schizophrenic madness that kicks in during late adolescence. There is only one way to break the curse: perform the three impossible tasks described in the balled Scarborough Fair. For hundreds of years, no Scarborough woman has been able to solve the puzzle. But this is the twenty-first century, and with the help of the Internet, a supportive family and a solid boyfriend who believes in her, Lucy may just be the first Scarborough with a real shot at banishing the Elfin King forever. This perfect blend of contemporary teen angst, romance, and myth had me racing through the pages to find out if Lucy beat the clock on going crazy while simultaneously Googling the lyrics to Scarborough Fair to see if I had any better luck at solving the riddle. And the climax, well, you’ll just have to see for yourself, but it literally gave me goosebumps. (For the record, evil fairies scare me!!) But you shouldn’t be afraid to look for this impossibly good book at your local library or bookstore.
In a world where evil magicians called Danisoba steal away small children who display any hint of mystical talent, orphan pirate girl Kestrel works hard to hide her ability to whistle up the wind. But she may be forced to show her hand when her beloved Captain Binns is arrested by the Royal Navy and sentenced to hang for his dastardly deeds. Kestrel is frantic to save him. But if she allows her talent to show, any sailor worth his salt will sell her out to the nearest Danisoba for top dollar. So instead she relies on more earthly means to orchestrate the save of the century. Hampered by a mutinous crew, a disappearing ship, and a double-dealing jack o’ napes named Philip McAvery, (who may or may not be on her side but is far too good looking to be trusted either way) Kestrel has to decide if she’s willing to risk life and liberty to save the man who has been like a father to her. Shiver me timbers! This thrilling paperback original reminded me of my all-time favorite series, Bloody Jack(except with magic). So if you’re a fan of the nefarious Jack Sparrow, or just partial to spell-casting buccaneers and swashbuckling acts of derring-do, sail out the door to your nearest bookshop and drop some gold doubloons for this high seas fantasy adventure penned by newbie author Misty Massey.
High school senior Ruby finds herself in a precarious position when her alcoholic mom ditches her and she is left to fend for herself in the six months left before her eighteenth birthday. She tries making a go of it on her own, hiding the fact that the water and heat in her rented house have been turned off, but she is eventually found out and sent to live with her uber-successful lawyer sister Cora (who she hasn’t seen in years) and Cora’s technological whiz-kid husband Jamie. Being catapulted from skid row to the equivalent of VH1′s The Fabulous Life of… leaves Ruby suspicious and unwilling to believe that the good times will last. In fact, she still keeps the key to the old house around her neck just in case she needs an escape hatch. But as she begins to collect new friends who gently but insistently begin to demand her attention (bossy, cell-phone obsessed classmate Olivia, OCD-suffering boss Harriet, more-than-just-a neighbor and smokin’ hot Nate) Ruby begins to relax into her suddenly safe and spacious new life. Until she discovers that perfect Nate has some family secrets of his own, secrets that she unfortunately understands all too well. Can these two fiercely independent teens learn to lean on each other? Or will their pride keep them apart? Sarah Dessen maintains her signature deep and introspective style in this, her eighth novel, and fans will recognize some familiar characters from Dessen’s other works embedded in Ruby’s story. If you like Lock and Key, you’ll want to go back and read Dessen’s backlist, especially my favorite title of hers.
Four upper crust NYC siblings take on the stone cold world of celebrity in this brilliant debut novel by playwright Theresa Rebeck. After a picture of the three girls in the title is published with much fanfare in an issue of the New Yorker, the newly minted celebriteens must learn how to navigate the shark-filled waters of fame. Each sib takes his or her turn at telling the story of how reporters staked out their school, how their aging ex-beauty pageant mother sold them out, and how they finally brought their borderline evil agent to heel. After her wild ride on the unstoppable fame machine, eldest sister Daria decides that fame “feels like a disease to me, and everyone is sick, the reporters, and the photographers and the commentators and the people, everyone has this disease, and what the disease does is it makes them hungry all the time…only for everyone else in America, me and my life and my family’s lives are the things that they’re hungry for, and they can never be satisfied, and so there is no ending.” Consider THAT next time you snap open your latest issue of People magazine! Sharply observed and incredibly well written in realistic and riotous teenspeak, this is THE novel for fans of Britney, Perez and Entourage. Consider it the perfect beach book for you AND your mom.
This. Is. One. Badass. Book. Seriously. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Maureen Johnson had also joined in the fray. So, three awesome chick lit. authors banded together to write this hilarious Florida roadtrip story via email, each adopting a different alter-teen-ego: “Christianpants” Jesse, tough-girl Vicks (who is described as having b & w hair, and I imagined her looking like voted-off-too-soon A.I. Season 7 Amanda Overmeyer), and shy, upper-class Mel. I won’t be the one to spoil the surprise of who wrote what, but friends, it was ALL good. Vicks’ s boyfriend Brady has gone off to college in Miami, which would be fine except he hasn’t texted or called in two weeks and Vicks is worried. So worried that she can’t even share her fears with her best friend, Jesse. Jesse, whose fine-looking Mama can still compete in wet t-shirt contests, has just learned that same sassy Mama has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is so worried about her mother’s possible demise and loss of her eternal soul (according to Jesse, wet t-shirt contestants go straight to Hell, without passing go or collecting $200 dollars) that she doesn’t tell Vicks. Instead, Jesse suggests a road trip to see Brady as a distraction for them both. Third wheel Mel invites herself along because wants a taste of the BF love that Vicks and Jesse share (and also, she’s the only one with an AmEx who could spring for the hotel). After three stinky days in a broken down Opel, an unsupervised house party, two ‘gator “attacks” (one stuffed, one real), a melt-down in a pirate themed-hotel room, and a glorious all-expenses-paid trip to EPCOT, they’re not just friends—they’re badasses (or “badbottoms” as Jesse would say) to be reckoned with. Not since Thelma and Louise has it felt so good to be this bad. The perfect title to be tossed in your backseat next time you hit the open road with your best buds!
So how big of a nerd am I? Pretty big, my teenage friends. Pretty damn big .So big that when my brand spanking new copies of the revised-and-updated-for-the- ipod-generation Sweet Valley High volumes 1 & 2 came from the publisher (yeah, sometimes it’s kinda cool being an unpaid teen book blogger—you do get some freebies), the first thing I did was run right over to my living room bookshelf and pull down my copies of the original versions, circa 1983 to compare. Yes, dear readers, I am the proud owner of the first 100 original SVH paperbacks, collected through the years from friends and second hand bookstores. When I was in 7th grade, my best friend Amy H. had the whole series sitting pretty on her white painted bookshelf in her huge canopied bed-bedroom, and to exorcise my adolescent envy of that unbroken line of perfect paperbacks (Amy was VERY neat), I was determined to hunt down my own set. Were they completely unrealistic and unapologetically soap opera-ish? Absolutely, but there was just something so reassuring about those perfectly turned out teenage sisters, their wholesome school and agreeable family—Elizabeth was good and Jessica was bad, and you could take that to the bank. Plus, you have to remember, this was 1983. YA literature was in a rut. There weren’t a million and one chick lit series to choose from like there are now. It felt like me and my friends graduated right from Beverly Cleary to Danielle Steel and V.C. Andrews. So, what’s the verdict on the new girls? Well, from just a casual perusal, SVH appears to be just as cheesy and squeaky clean as I remember. Now sixteen year old California twins Jessica and Elizabeth have cell phones, drive a red Jeep Wrangler instead of a Fiat, and Elizabeth maintains a blog as well as writing for SVH’s website. But Elizabeth is still pining for captain of the basketball team Todd Wilkins, and Jessica is still chasing anything in pants. Of course, nothing too sexy ever happens in Sweet Valley. In Double Love, when Jessica accidentally gets in over her pretty little head with SVH dropout Rick Andover, a notorious playa, the cops conveniently show up before Jessica’s virtue is threatened. I know, too tame for you, right? But if your little sister keeps stealing your Gossip Girl books and she’s already read all of the Clique, throw these shiny new paperbacks her way. They oughta hold her—at least until the next Clique comes out. And who knows? Maybe she’ll grow to love good old Jessica, Elizabeth, Enid, Todd, Bruce, and the rest of SVH gang as much as me and my Gen-X compatriots did. Now that you’ve traveled down nostalgia lane with me, I’d love it if you would post YOUR memories of your fav series from when you were a kid.
High school sophomore Frankie’s tired of being her blustery dad’s baby bunny and playing sweet lil’ sib to her cool big sis Zada. She’s given the opportunity to prove that she’s more than just a pretty face and a smokin’ pair of legs when she discovers the existence of a boys-only secret society at her older-than-Moses private school. A secret society that her v. popular, v. cute upperclass boyfriend Matthew just happens to be a member of. But Matthew doesn’t know that she knows he belongs to it, and the longer Frankie waits for him to tell her, the more she begins to doubt his feelings for her—if he likes her so much, then why doesn’t he trust her with his deepest, darkest secret? Meanwhile, she’s decided to teach Matthew & crew a little lesson by secretly infiltrating their “Loyal Order of the Bassett Hounds” via email and pretending to be head ‘dawg’ Alessandro “Alpha” Tesorieri, Matthew’s best friend. Alpha’s too embarrassed to admit to the rest of the hounds that he’s not the one perpetrating the amazing pranks that are growing from Frankie’s fertile mind, and also pretty pissed that he can’t figure out who the mystery prankster is. So, who will crack first–Alpha, Frankie, or Matthew? And what will the fallout be when one of them decides to come clean? This rollicking good read, which breaks the mold on the so-called “chick lit.” genre with its crackerjack plot and refreshingly smart heroine, references all sorts of interesting trivial doodads you’re gonna wanna look up, like panopticons, P.G. Wodehouse, and “neglected positives.” It’s also by the ever-inventive E. Lockhart, who just gets better with each book. This one will easily make my top ten of the year, if not one of my favorites of ALL TIME, so go out and get it already, will ya? And don’t blame me if it’s already sold out!